Everything's free here. If I want sweets
I can just take them.
I have ten bikes and motorbikes.
I also have twenty pairs of training shoes.
The trouble is, when I come home
I can't go to bed because there are about
twenty people in my house. So there is
So really you can't have anything
because everyone takes something for
People grow on the trees
they are green like leaves
in the winter they fall off trees
then they can walk about
when they die they shrivel
and vanish into the ground
This is a backward island:
everybody walks backward;
instead of people drinking a drink
they spit it in the glass.
When you rob a bank here, you give them money.
If somebody punches you, your scares vanish.
They wear pyjamas all day
and a shell-suit in bed.
Everything here is round
even the roofs and houses
even shoes, boxes are round.
All the furniture is round
all the bread is round,
but my football
Everything is made of cotton wool:
when you fall over
you will not hurt yourself.
The roads are white and cosy,
when you lie on the floor
it is like lying on a bed.
My country is called Frazil. It is a very snobby country.
Everyone has eyes in the side of their head so that
if anyone decides to attack them they will be prepared.
The buildings are odd. The animals' heads are at the back of them
so if they get fleas in their tails they can bite it.
The cars have super-powered engines in case the people are in a
hurry. Not everyone has cars, some people have motorboards.
The currency is paprusy. There are 56 paprusy in a ruben.
And ten ruben in a scit.
Money swims in the water instead of fish.
When I need money I go fishing.
Sometimes money comes out of my tap.
I keep money in a fish tank
instead of a piggy bank.
Cups and teabags
grow on the trees
When i want a drink
I take a cup off the tree.
Kettles grow like flowers.
I like my hot cup of tea.
My country is made of mashed potato:
everything is mushy.
I eat tables and chairs,
I eat lampposts.
When I go to sleep
I lie on a soggy bed.