LIMERICKS I live in Montrovia Crescent Where people are most unpleasant They knock on your door At a quarter to four And pretend they have brought you a present. ^BCarla^b There was a strange bird in Drake Close Who had not a beak but a nose It thought,"Just my luck People think I'm a duck But I'm just a bird lost in Drake Close." ^BLisa^b There was an old man of Hawksmoor Who was always breaking the law. He ran over a horse And stole H.P. Sauce Then he glued himself to the floor. ^BMichael^b A boy is gurgling with beans He spills them all over his jeans He picks his nose With his toes Then into his custard he leans. ^BNichola^b There was a young man of Dundee who was constantly pestered by fleas. He gave them a clout, his teeth all fell out, and now he can only eat cheese. ^BKatherine Venn^b There was an old alien from Mars who went on a trip round the stars. He fell off his chair into thin air and floated all the way to the stars. There was an old alien from Mars who wore massive polka-dot bras. They bounced up and down and knocked off his crown and then burst all over his car. There was an old alien from Mars who went on a trip round the stars. He found an old bath full of dull grey ash that came from a hundred cigars. There was an old alien from Mars who ate raspberry jam out of jars. He was eating a bun that got burnt by the sun - it made a nice change from cigars. There was an old alien from Mars who liked to drive round in old cars. He put a thin key into a big tree and took a long trip to the stars.